This is the space for me to post my thoughts,feelings and opinions.
A quick testimony: I was a drug addict,alcoholic, prideful, angry, greedy, self centered person. I met Jesus, I no longer do some of those things. He is still working on me. I struggle in areas, some areas I don’t. I didn’t grow up in church. I was always smart with an IQ of 136. I think logically. The bible is not a book of logic it is a book of faith.
I never met my dad, his name was Dickie Gaspard. He died of AIDS when I was 10. He was a homosexual.People called me faggot and queer at school after my real dad died. Which made me a very angry kid. My mom lied to me about who my dad was,she said it was to protect me. She said another man (Tony)was my dad. I grew up thinking he was. I went stay by this man’s mom and dad’s house sometimes on the weekends. I called them Granny and Pawpaw. I got into drugs at 12. I was an angry kid, my mom put me in Nekodo karate thinking it was gonna chill me out. I learned how to fight and fought alot. By the time I was 15 I had done alot of drugs, from Acid, ecstasy, weed, pills and cocaine. I also was interested in the occult, Satanism and did alot of reading on the Satanic Church and Anton Lavey. I wore shirts to school with demon’s being crucified and shirts with a demon strangling Jesus. When I was 15 I got my driver’s license and a car. I went to my “Granny’s” house to show here the car. She told me that she wasn’t my granny, my mom lied about who my dad was and for me not to go back there. She said the best thing was for me to go find my “real” grandparents. I knew where they lived. My mom showed me where they lived and she never kept that she was married to my real dad a secret. I had his last name, I asked questions and she said it was because she was married to him but he wasn’t my dad.
Things didn’t add up. I went find my real grand parents that day and went on a party streak for about a week or so, getting drunk and doing drugs. I got into an argument with my mom on the phone and I told her I wasn’t going home. I had a step dad who was a real bum. I didn’t like him, he hated me. I told her it was my step dad or me, but I wasn’t living there with him. She said “When your coming get your stuff?” I said I will be there in a little while to kill you and him. Cops show up, I go to the hospital and have a psych evaluation. I end up in the juvenile detention center for a couple weeks then a mental hospital for a few months.My mom still didn’t know that I knew the truth about my dad. She found out while I was in the mental hospital, that I knew the truth.
Fast forward a few months. I get out the mental hospital find my girlfriend(Casey), we live together, she gets pregnant, we have a boy (Cole). I quit school, we get a house together, I go to work, we have our problems over the years,drinking get worse and worse, drugs get worse and worse. A few years go by, 9 to be exact she is pregnant again with our daughter (Lyla). My drinking and drugging is as bad as ever. I am doing every drug under the sun. Our relationship is a mess.
One day at work my friend Dustan(who I smoked my first joint with at age 12) asked me to go to church with him. At this time I had already read the Bible cover to cover,the Bhagavad Gita, parts of the Koran, a book on Wicca,some books on Hinduism and Buddhism. I was searching,reading, none of it made sense to me. I had tons of questions. I knew my life had to change.
I went to church that Sunday by myself,it was Ok. I met the Pastor. His name was Morris Hunter Jr. He knew my Dad’s family. My wife stayed home to take care of our baby. Tuesday I get a phone saying the Pastor wanted to see me in his office. I had been taking pills and drinking. I drove to the church. Finished my Heineken in the parking lot,put out my cigarette and went find the Pastor. I proceeded to tell him why I thought Christianity was stupid. Why I didn’t believe in organized religion. And every other reason I can think of why I was mad at God. He sat there listened and tried to answer all my questions. He told me that God was going to use me mightily, but not as I was. I had to change, but I couldn’t change on my own I needed Jesus. I walked out a new man that day. and started a journey into being a new creation in Christ.
I read the bible, I studied the bible, I lived , slept and ate the bible. Our friends changed, our interest changed. The whole dynamics of our lives changed. fast forward to present day. My wife and I are both pastors at our church. She is the worship leader. I play bass on the worship team. I preach sometimes. Our son, Cole, is the drummer on the worship team. Our daughter, Lyla, is an aspiring artist full of artistic creativity and is a future Worship Leader.We have a ministry called “Awake the Bride” Our lives revolve around furthering the Kingdom of God. I couldn’t have done it without Jesus, my wife being a woman of God, and my family and friends.
This blog will be an outlet, I will go into more detail on some parts of my testimony. I will post thoughts and stories of my past and how Jesus is working in my life.